Short Story Final: North

Author's note: This story doesn't exactly reflect real events but there's a lot of emotion in it that I exaggerated. My fears are beneath the events of this story.
In an instant I woke, I had to keep going, keep driving. Once again I turned the key; I drove fast down the winding road. It was lined with huge, old trees I had seen so many times before. On impulse I was going to the only place I knew could feel like home. So many times before I had stayed in these woods and swam in this water. It had an effect on me, somehow, like magic, I could come here and forget the fast pace of life and the struggles that lingered so heavily on my heart. The sudden peace ringing in the air, the abrasion of my hands on the wheel, consumed me and I wept. The pines had once waved my worries away with their branches; the water once washed away the grief and pain.

I pulled into a gravel driveway and eventually came to a lodge. The engine shut off, I got out of the car and walked slowly to the door. Tears reappeared on my face, I paused, my shaking hand suddenly steady on the doorknob. Thinking rationally for a moment, my hand dipped into my back pocket and pulled out a large wad of cash I’d stolen from the counter at home. I clung to at least 200 dollars. Regret crept quietly into my conscience. What was I thinking? Looking for some relief, I placed the money back into my pocket. My hand pressed hard on the door and entered into a foyer. Tourist brochures hung on the wall and a dusty old moose head hung next to them. Suddenly I could remember walking through those very same doors every summer as a little girl. All the smells and people and boats and fish had stayed the same, it was me that had changed. I stood quiet and still, staring into the face of the moose. Memories continued to flash through my head, memories of my childhood, memories of the cabin, but most prevalent were memories of my father. It had only been 5 years since I’d been here last but it felt like a lifetime. Things had changed so much since then. At that time, this place could’ve made it all disappear; the struggles, the hurt, the fears.

The reality was I’d grown, grown so far from this place. However, I had no wish to escape this place, to leave; I was content to remain in that enchanting spot until it was my time to depart. As I stood, calmer than I’d been for hours, everything began to spin. I’d been informed hours before that my father was dead, in a search for comfort I ended up here. Tears flooded over my eyelashes, down my cheeks and onto the floor. Waves of sobs hit me with jolts; I sat shakily on the ground still staring at the moose. My arms wrapped tightly around my knees. I shut my eyes, forcing tears out the corners of my eyes, swallowing the next jolt of sobs. In seconds I had lost the most important man in my life. It felt almost as if someone was tearing away all the good I knew in life, piece by piece. My heart ached, it ached for memories, it ached for death, it ached for loss.

My father hadn’t been around much in the last few years but whenever he was, he somehow made everything okay again, he brought peace. Naturally this feeling escaped as soon as he did. I lived in an unstable home, and the only hope I knew lye within my father. He reminded me that I had a future; that something brighter lay beyond the front door. Maybe he recognized the hardship I endured at home, maybe he saw potential in me, or maybe he saw a reflection of himself within me. If I knew love, it came from my father and now that was all I could salvage from the dust.

My hands quivered gently in my lap. My heart beat loudly within my chest. I shut my eyes and listened; laughter carried from the bar, an old rock song played softly on the jukebox. The sun, granting rays of a luminous glow, the subtle shadows dancing across the wooden walls, the sounds, the quiet scenery, the worn moose—all had distracted me. The warm air of the lodge caressed my delicate body. The world had suddenly slowed. The immense grief lay heavy on my heart and settled in my mind. With my eyes still shut I slowly pulled a handgun from the depths of my pocket. My back straightened slightly opening my lungs to the northern air. I inhaled slowly, filling the space of my chest one last time and then I did it.

A Time To Treasure

When you think of summer what comes to mind?


Summer
laughing
dreaming
smiling
playing

It ends too quickly
over before it's really began
the memories
the moments
I will never forget

Every year
after 9 long monthes
it arrives once again
the memories return
the moments approach
the laughing begins
the dreaming draws near
the smiling and playing
the dancing and singing

Summer
a time to enjoy
a time to treasure
the times we'll remember
all our lives

I stare

Author's note: This is a poem regarding theend of the year.

I stare
The hall seeming to go on forever
Emptiness
Children's voices, gone
Teacher's books, packed away

I stare
Clocks ticking
Scenes of classrooms
Libraries
Gym classes
Flash through my mind
No one present to fill the scenes

I stare
I'm leaving these halls
No longer will I read those books
No longer will I open this locker
No longer will I sing in this choir room

I stare
I wonder
I wish
There was a little more time

The Chain Reaction

A response to the novel The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time.

I have a cousin who suffers from autism and I've never really paid much attention to it. I've always thought he was smart but just a little different than everyone else. After reading just a small amount of this novel I came to realize how brilliant autistic children really are. The way they lay out evey situation and every idea, looking at it in such detail is amazing, it is not something that most teenagers would ever be able to do. It seems to me that our school system does an exceptional job of tending to kids like Christopher. I love how most of them are able to take part in normal classes and be a part of the middle school experience. I really appreciate those people who take there time to help. But there are some that don't respect this. They choose to make fun, call names, be completely irresponsible. The US is supposed to be a place of equality. It upsets me to see autistic kids treated differently. There are kids that deny them their chance of experience what all children experience. When I get to spend time with my cousin I enjoy listening to what has been going on in his life; he is able to have a job and have friends and graduate from highschool. It's not like that for all autistic kids, however. Some are constantly alone and left behind. There's something we can do to change this. By do one kind thing for these less fortunate children you can start a chain reaction.

Gifts from Love

This is a response to the novel The Power and the Glory by Graham Greene. It displays the gift of children but it also shows the consequences that come from a loss of love. The priest and Maria are and example of two people who found themselves falling out of love but their hurt went on to their child. Brigetta is now forced to grow up without a father.

It is common in our world today to find split parents, failed marriages, or just people who fell out of love. Love is fragile, and often times misunderstood. I believe that somewhere in the world there is a person for everyone; everyone has a soul mate, it just takes time to find that missing half. In this novel we see an example of love that has been dropped and broken.

Maria and the priest had once been in love and from that love came a beautiful child. At one time it must have really been meant to be if such a wonderful thing was created from it. When the priest returns to his home he finds his broken family. They are each nothing but puzzle pieces, they have fallen apart but they can still fit together, it would just take some work. It seems that the priest sees this, but he has lost the strength to recreate the puzzle. When he's near his wife he doesn't feel that sense of home that two people are meant to feel in marriage, he feels hated and lost. Even his daughter turns from him and acknowledges her sense of abandonment.

It is difficult when you don't feel at home with your own family. As a priest he was never meant to be with a women, but out of it came a blessing. Although, this priest can't see his child grow up, can't be there to witness her struggles and help her through them. But that is his consequence for what he had done. He was with woman who gave him a beautiful little girl but he can't be a part of her life.

The Listeners-- Written by Walter de-la Mare

My grandpa introduced me to this poem by Walter de-la Mare.
The Listeners

'IS there anybody there?' said the Traveller,
Knocking on the moonlit door;
And his horse in the silence champ'd the grasses
Of the forest's ferny floor:
And a bird flew up out of the turret,
Above the Traveller's head:
And he smote upon the door again a second time;
'Is there anybody there?' he said.
But no one descended to the Traveller;
No head from the leaf-fringed sill
Lean'd over and look'd into his grey eyes,
Where he stood perplex'd and still.
But only a host of phantom listeners
That dwelt in the lone house then
Stood listening in the quiet of the moonlight
To that voice from the world of men:
Stood thronging the faint moonbeams on the dark stair,
That goes down to the empty hall,
Hearkening in an air stirr'd and shaken
By the lonely Traveller's call.
And he felt in his heart their strangeness,
Their stillness answering his cry,
While his horse moved, cropping the dark turf,
'Neath the starr'd and leafy sky;
For he suddenly smote on the door, even
Louder, and lifted his head:--
'Tell them I came, and no one answer'd,
That I kept my word,' he said.
Never the least stir made the listeners,
Though every word he spake
Fell echoing through the shadowiness of the still house
From the one man left awake:
Ay, they heard his foot upon the stirrup,
And the sound of iron on stone,
And how the silence surged softly backward,
When the plunging hoofs were gone.

The Pathes of Life and Love

This is an alternate ending to Barbara Kingsolver's novel, The Bean Trees. In this response it is displayed that love is a powerful thing and it can dramatically alter a person's decision. The main character, Taylor Greer, has fallen in love with a refugee named Estevan. Him and his wife had recently left the small town of Tucson where Taylor lives. In the novel Estevan and Taylor never see eachother again, but I felt that they desearved one last goodbye, so I altered the ending. Through their seperation they discover their love for one and other, but even their true love cannot pull each of them from their true path of life.

Slowly I pulled out of the driveway. I wasn't sure which way to turn. As I watched Estevan turn away I could feel the hot tears begin to roll down my face. I drove, drove for miles, crying all along the way. I had never felt this way; the one man I ever loved, I let walk away right before my eyes. But the thing is, I couldn't do anything about it. The car slowed down and I pulled it to the side of the road. I looked to the back seat to check on my sweet Turtle. She was in a deep sleep and she looked happy. She was so content with her goodbye, why couldn't I be like that? It was so hard for me. It's confusing, I had never really gotten what I wanted but things seemed to stack up anyways, why is it so hard for me to lose him when I'm so used to losing things?

She finally opened her eyes. "Good morning sunshine." I smiled.
"Ma!"
I picked her up and hugged her close. I could feel the tears once more. After a couple minutes of holding each other I realized what I had to do. Starting the car was the first step, I put the car in drive and pulled it back on the road. My sights were set on home. Lou Ann was waiting for me and that was where the comfort was. Lou Ann and I could get through this together.

"Lou Ann! We're home." I yelled.
She ran down stairs and gave me a huge hug. Then she leaned down and lifted up Turtle and smiled real big at her. I was home. There was no doubt about that, I just missed Estevan.

Three weeks later, Mattie knocked on our door. "Taylor, I have something to tell you." Mattie said with grief in her eyes.
"What is it?"
"Esperanza is dead."
I burst into tears. Mattie grabbed my hand and began reassuring me that everything will be alright and Estevan is a strong man; I already knew that. Then she looked me straight in the eyes and told me something that left me speechless.
"Taylor, I want you to listen to me. When I talked to Estevan you were the first one he mentioned. He didn't even want me to tell you about Esperanza, but I felt like I had to. He wanted to tell you himself, so he asked if you would come visit him."
I wanted to smile, but I knew that was not the way to react. Immediately Mattie took me to my room and helped me start packing. The room was silent. I wasn't sure what to say. I was in such shock.

As we loaded up the car and began to drive, Mattie looked to me. "I want you to know its okay to love him. He cares for you so deeply and you’re the only way that he will get through losing Esperanza. I can't help him as much as you can." I smiled, but I also cried. It was so touching to know that I was the one he wanted to turn to for comfort.

We pulled into the drive and I got out right away. I ran up the stairs of the building, frantically searching for Estevan. I knocked on the door, and a woman answered. She looked at me and right away she knew who I was. I walked in and saw him immediately. He stood up from his chair and walked towards me with a smile on his face. I burst into tears; I didn't understand why he was so happy.

"Taylor, I have been waiting for you." He took me in his arms and held me as I cried. "I love you. Will you come with me? Will you grow old with me? Will you make a family with me?"

I looked up at him and smiled. "Oh Estevan, I want to do all those things, but my life is here. It makes me so happy to hear you say that, I wish that it was easier, but I want you to know that I love you and that will never change. I pray that you will be safe and find your way. You will always be on my mind." I began to cry again. "I have to let you go Estevan. Please know that I care more than anyone could possibly understand. But this has to be goodbye. It's for the best." The tears rushed down my face as I locked eyes with him.

"Taylor, I want you to go on with your life and raise Turtle in a safe and comforting home. I do not expect you to come with me, I just want you to know that I will be missing you. And I had to ask."

I hugged him once more and then left. I felt satisfaction, which seemed strange considering what had just happened. What I needed to hear had been said and that was the end of it. Now it was my turn to start my own journey-- to live a life worth remembering.