Bubbling, trickling.
These sounds come alive,
silently but echoing to my ear.
Peace you feel at times,
so hard to understand.
For God made this natural wonder,
we learn to appreciate and treasure
each moment we spend in aw observing.
Busy city racing by,
creating a picture very different.
Longing to stay right here
for eternity,
we can't.
People must be among people.
But we continue to come back
to this place where we found happiness
for just a second.
Counting on the water to bring us hope
that somewhere a brighter tomorrow lives
with open arms.
All of the tragedy surrounding the world
may someday resolve,
though we wait for that time to come.
We will always come back to this place
see ourselves again
as innocent.
No one will hurt us here
everything and everyone is calm.
The waves of fear and pain
cannot hit us in this private get away.
This is where the world may someday
find itself again.
I love "people mus tbe among people". It divides the poem between the river to the metaphor. Don't forget to label the poem as yours, and if you feel like it, add a little intro, or ending bit about where this came from. Just beautiful. I would look to revisiting unnecessary words, if possible.
ReplyDeleteI love it! I really like the las sentence. You say "each moment we spend in aw observing." i was wondering what the aw is supposed to mean. Great poem:)
ReplyDeleteI really like how you combine the concept of a city and a river - two opposites - together. This is a great poem, and I can't think of anything to suggest.
ReplyDeleteWow! You really made me think on this one. I had to keep reading it over and over again... but because I wanted to. It made me think about everything in life. It's a perfect poem! Great job!
ReplyDeleteThis is a really great poem Olivia! I love it! I made me think what the poem means. Great Job!
ReplyDeleteI like how you place the reader in each scene between the city and a peaceful river, I can definitely see the two opposites in each. The way you refer back to people trying to become innocent again is great. Amazing poem.
ReplyDeleteGreat job Liv!!! This is a really good poem! I love how you refer to a city and a river, and how they are opposites. I don't think that there is anything that you can do to improve this poem!
ReplyDeleteWOW LIVE!! that was amazing......I love how you go about comapring opposites :D There is nothing I would do to improve your poem!! good job!
ReplyDeleteI love your analogy of the river to life, in addition to how you say the river is where the earth will find itself again. That conclusion is simply amazing. Just so you know, awe is spelled with an e.:) Besides this minor error, I think this is one of the very best poems I've read in this class.
ReplyDeleteI like how you spaced the poem out. It made it seem like the words wee trickling like the water. Did Mr. J say anything to you guys about making a poem into a picture, or applying it to a picture backround? This poem would be really neat like that.
ReplyDelete